Season 3, Episode 23 Bonus Episode
The Force UnscriptedJune 09, 202500:31:4229.06 MB

Season 3, Episode 23 Bonus Episode

Welcome to The Force Unscripted Podcast, where Star Wars fans share unfiltered discussions, fresh insights, and genuine camaraderie in exploring the galaxy far, far away. Tune in weekly for authentic conversations that celebrate the timeless appeal of Star Wars. May the Force be with you on this adventure!

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00:00:23 --> 00:00:25 Hey everyone, it may the force be with you. Nikita
00:00:25 --> 00:00:28 here with my boy Exotic and Brick3PO to record
00:00:28 --> 00:00:32 our bonus episode for our last episode that we
00:00:32 --> 00:00:35 did. We are excited to get started. We hope you
00:00:35 --> 00:00:41 guys enjoyed the episode that we did on the fandom
00:00:41 --> 00:00:45 menace and how they typically ruin everything,
00:00:45 --> 00:00:49 but... As our bonus episodes are a little shout
00:00:49 --> 00:00:52 out to our fans. And you know, that, that includes
00:00:52 --> 00:00:54 the fandom menace. We're going to be answering
00:00:54 --> 00:00:57 some questions. We got two submissions today.
00:00:57 --> 00:01:01 One submitted via email and one that's a voice
00:01:01 --> 00:01:04 note. Always excited to get the, the voice submission.
00:01:04 --> 00:01:06 So be sure to send those in, in our website,
00:01:06 --> 00:01:08 the force unscripted .com. And you could be featured
00:01:08 --> 00:01:10 on our, actually you will be featured at some
00:01:10 --> 00:01:13 point. Like we will answer all of these. So if
00:01:13 --> 00:01:15 there's a little bit of a queue, just wait. Your
00:01:15 --> 00:01:17 question, if you submitted it, I promise you
00:01:17 --> 00:01:19 it'll get played. So the first question is actually
00:01:19 --> 00:01:23 from one of our former co -hosts, Mac Astral.
00:01:23 --> 00:01:26 His question is, do you think that Meetra Surik
00:01:26 --> 00:01:28 was right in her use of the mass shadow generator
00:01:28 --> 00:01:33 on Malachor V during the Mandalorian Wars? Exotic,
00:01:33 --> 00:01:35 I know you're a KOTOR fan. I don't know if you
00:01:35 --> 00:01:39 specifically remember this part. I remember a
00:01:39 --> 00:01:42 little bit about it. It was more of a moral dilemma,
00:01:42 --> 00:01:45 in my opinion. Because there's a good... There's
00:01:45 --> 00:01:48 a good reason and a bad reason. So it's just
00:01:48 --> 00:01:49 like you got killing a whole bunch of fucking
00:01:49 --> 00:01:52 random people, ending a war, right? That's like
00:01:52 --> 00:01:55 the biggest thing. Because, I mean, if I remember
00:01:55 --> 00:01:58 correctly, the shadow generator didn't just kill
00:01:58 --> 00:02:02 the fuck, the Mandalorians, right? It pretty
00:02:02 --> 00:02:03 much killed a whole bunch of innocent people
00:02:03 --> 00:02:05 and everything like that. Yeah, Republic and
00:02:05 --> 00:02:08 Mando got smashed into the fucking planet, shattered
00:02:08 --> 00:02:11 the planet into planetoids. So I guess it's like...
00:02:11 --> 00:02:14 If you look at it as like a military perspective,
00:02:14 --> 00:02:17 you're just like, oh, out of the greater loss
00:02:17 --> 00:02:20 of the war, killing a whole bunch of people just
00:02:20 --> 00:02:23 to end the war. So it's just kind of, in my opinion,
00:02:23 --> 00:02:25 there's no like, if it was right, if it was wrong,
00:02:25 --> 00:02:27 there was kind of an upside on both takes to
00:02:27 --> 00:02:30 it. I actually agree with you for once on this
00:02:30 --> 00:02:33 one. I was thinking about this question when
00:02:33 --> 00:02:35 I saw it. And it reminded me of a conversation
00:02:35 --> 00:02:37 that Luke Skywalker has with his son, Ben Skywalker,
00:02:38 --> 00:02:41 in the Legends timeline. And Ben brings up a
00:02:41 --> 00:02:43 good point. I think I've talked about this way
00:02:43 --> 00:02:45 back in season one when we were doing our episode
00:02:45 --> 00:02:47 about Luke Skywalker. But Ben basically calls
00:02:47 --> 00:02:50 out his dad and he's like, yeah, you did the
00:02:50 --> 00:02:53 greater good in the long run by destroying the
00:02:53 --> 00:02:54 Death Star. But you also got to understand you
00:02:54 --> 00:02:56 killed millions of people on that thing that
00:02:56 --> 00:02:59 were. you know they were complicit in the empire's
00:02:59 --> 00:03:01 atrocities but some of those people were just
00:03:01 --> 00:03:03 normal people living the life that they thought
00:03:03 --> 00:03:04 was best because they thought that you know the
00:03:04 --> 00:03:07 empire had taken care of them so like yeah you
00:03:07 --> 00:03:10 you saved the galaxy at large from a greater
00:03:10 --> 00:03:13 threat but you also killed millions in the process
00:03:13 --> 00:03:18 so Like, is it really a good or a bad thing?
00:03:18 --> 00:03:20 And you're right. It's really kind of a moral
00:03:20 --> 00:03:22 dilemma. Like, yeah, he got rid of the Death
00:03:22 --> 00:03:26 Star. Yeah, she basically kind of dealt a good
00:03:26 --> 00:03:30 blow to the Mandalorians in the war. But like
00:03:30 --> 00:03:33 a lot of innocence were lost in both cases. So
00:03:33 --> 00:03:36 kind of a weird question. I like it though. Definitely
00:03:36 --> 00:03:39 one that makes you think. I like the political
00:03:39 --> 00:03:43 and moral talks that Star Wars can bring about
00:03:43 --> 00:03:46 and people. in conversation so i think in the
00:03:46 --> 00:03:49 long run to give mac an answer i think she was
00:03:49 --> 00:03:53 right you know wars can last a long time this
00:03:53 --> 00:03:55 definitely was kind of a punctuation in that
00:03:55 --> 00:03:59 war that kind of sealed the deal for mandalorians
00:03:59 --> 00:04:01 and ensure that the republic won but you know
00:04:01 --> 00:04:04 it got used more times after that finally finishing
00:04:04 --> 00:04:07 the shattering of malachor 5 too so i think that
00:04:07 --> 00:04:10 she was right in her use but you know overall
00:04:10 --> 00:04:15 it uh bad and good Yeah. And I mean, if I'm not
00:04:15 --> 00:04:17 mistaken, it did create a wound in the force
00:04:17 --> 00:04:19 too, right? Just because of how powerful it was.
00:04:19 --> 00:04:22 I'm pretty sure. I know what, like, granted,
00:04:22 --> 00:04:24 I haven't read up on the story in a while, but
00:04:24 --> 00:04:26 I'm pretty sure this is the event that like causes
00:04:26 --> 00:04:28 her to like cut off her connection to the force.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:30 Yeah, yeah. I know it did that for sure. And
00:04:30 --> 00:04:33 I mean, we probably wouldn't have had a KOTOR
00:04:33 --> 00:04:36 2 if she didn't use it because with the wound
00:04:36 --> 00:04:39 in the force from the mass shadow generator kind
00:04:39 --> 00:04:42 of led to the dark side influence of Nihilus
00:04:42 --> 00:04:47 and... scion i believe yes yep and alice is my
00:04:47 --> 00:04:49 favorite sith lord so i'm all for it if that's
00:04:49 --> 00:04:53 the case i love the sith triumvirate as a whole
00:04:53 --> 00:04:56 in general the kotor 2 story is really good all
00:04:56 --> 00:04:58 right so that's that's question number one we
00:04:58 --> 00:05:01 also do have a another question before we get
00:05:01 --> 00:05:05 into our little bonus game round but um this
00:05:05 --> 00:05:11 is a submission by jake i'm gonna play the uh
00:05:11 --> 00:05:13 the little voice submission for you guys to hear
00:05:13 --> 00:05:16 and then we will answer the question so here
00:05:16 --> 00:05:19 is a simple question uh for anybody willing to
00:05:19 --> 00:05:25 answer it star wars has a history of super weapons
00:05:25 --> 00:05:29 being developed uh anything from the center point
00:05:29 --> 00:05:33 station to the sun raiser to uh the barrages
00:05:33 --> 00:05:37 the simple question i have is what is your favorite
00:05:37 --> 00:05:40 super weapon and why So I actually really like
00:05:40 --> 00:05:42 this question. What is your favorite super weapon
00:05:42 --> 00:05:48 and why? And I have two choices that I am fighting
00:05:48 --> 00:05:50 for my number one. So I'm going to mention both
00:05:50 --> 00:05:52 of them. The first one is going to be Centerpoint
00:05:52 --> 00:05:54 Station. because he did mention it in his question.
00:05:54 --> 00:05:57 Absolutely love Centerpoint Station. Like, if
00:05:57 --> 00:05:59 you thought the Death Star was, like, a badass
00:05:59 --> 00:06:02 kind of thing, Centerpoint Station made the Death
00:06:02 --> 00:06:04 Star look tiny in comparison. I mean, this thing
00:06:04 --> 00:06:08 could literally move planets. It is theorized
00:06:08 --> 00:06:11 to have moved the Corellian system, the planets
00:06:11 --> 00:06:17 of Talos, Tralos, Solonia, Corellia. I think
00:06:17 --> 00:06:19 there's one more. I think there's another one.
00:06:20 --> 00:06:22 But basically, Centerpoint Station is what moved
00:06:22 --> 00:06:25 those objects into the space that they are. Not
00:06:25 --> 00:06:28 only that, but it has a like a massive weapon
00:06:28 --> 00:06:31 on a gravity kind of like the honestly kind of
00:06:31 --> 00:06:34 like the mass shadow generator. But basically,
00:06:34 --> 00:06:38 it shot a beam through hyperspace. Anakin Solo
00:06:38 --> 00:06:41 bind it to the machine because it liked his his
00:06:41 --> 00:06:44 his. Like, I guess his sense in the force or
00:06:44 --> 00:06:46 how he was, he was really good with technology
00:06:46 --> 00:06:48 the same way his grandfather Anakin Skywalker
00:06:48 --> 00:06:52 was. And pulled the trigger on the gun and it
00:06:52 --> 00:06:55 absolutely flattened the enemy forces during
00:06:55 --> 00:06:57 the Yuuzhan Vong War, but also destroyed like
00:06:57 --> 00:07:00 half a hapen fleet. And I mean, just absolutely
00:07:00 --> 00:07:04 badass super weapon. you know, in the Star Wars
00:07:04 --> 00:07:07 universe, comes back around towards the end of
00:07:07 --> 00:07:09 the timeline because they find out that there's
00:07:09 --> 00:07:12 one inside of the Maw, like basically a copy
00:07:12 --> 00:07:14 of it, when they're discovering Aboloth again.
00:07:14 --> 00:07:16 So I thought that that was really cool. Oh, we
00:07:16 --> 00:07:18 just got a fact check from Brick3PO. It's Corellia,
00:07:18 --> 00:07:21 Solonia, Drahl, Talos, and Tralos. I forgot Drahl,
00:07:21 --> 00:07:25 but yeah. So basically this whole thing is responsible
00:07:25 --> 00:07:27 for moving them to where they are in the galaxy,
00:07:27 --> 00:07:30 for basically being a badass weapon that can
00:07:30 --> 00:07:33 just shoot. a blast through hyperspace which
00:07:33 --> 00:07:36 is fucking insane so that's why it's in competition
00:07:36 --> 00:07:39 for my top two super weapons but my number two
00:07:39 --> 00:07:42 possibly number one is also the sun crusher Another
00:07:42 --> 00:07:46 weapon from Legends. It was created by Kweezux,
00:07:46 --> 00:07:49 who is the Imperial scientist responsible for
00:07:49 --> 00:07:53 basically the Legends equivalent of Galen Erso.
00:07:54 --> 00:07:56 She designed the Death Star and the Legends timeline,
00:07:56 --> 00:07:59 but she also made the Sun Crusher, which basically
00:07:59 --> 00:08:02 had armor that could rival Beskar, if not be
00:08:02 --> 00:08:05 stronger than Beskar. Actually, I think it was
00:08:05 --> 00:08:08 stronger than Beskar and could basically shoot
00:08:08 --> 00:08:10 a missile into the sun of whatever system and
00:08:10 --> 00:08:12 make it go Nova. absolutely love that uh kip
00:08:12 --> 00:08:14 duran at some point when he gets possessed by
00:08:14 --> 00:08:17 exarcoon grabs hold of the device um uses it
00:08:17 --> 00:08:20 on the carita system to destroy the imperial
00:08:20 --> 00:08:23 academy on carita realizes that his brother is
00:08:23 --> 00:08:25 on the planet tries to get there to save him
00:08:25 --> 00:08:27 but is not you know fast enough to beat the sun
00:08:27 --> 00:08:30 going over and loses his his only remaining family
00:08:30 --> 00:08:33 in the universe eventually he got his hands on
00:08:33 --> 00:08:35 it after he got possessed they had sent the sun
00:08:35 --> 00:08:41 crusher into yavin No, is Yavin 4 the moon? Yavin
00:08:41 --> 00:08:43 is the planet, Yavin 4 is the moon, right? Yeah.
00:08:44 --> 00:08:47 Yeah, so they sent it into Yavin, the gas giant,
00:08:47 --> 00:08:50 and it basically sunk to the core with the force.
00:08:50 --> 00:08:53 Kip Durin, because that's by Exar, was able to
00:08:53 --> 00:08:56 pull it from the core of Yavin and get it out.
00:08:56 --> 00:08:59 And just the fact that it survived the core of
00:08:59 --> 00:09:02 a gas giant for so long just shows you how strong
00:09:02 --> 00:09:04 the armor is and how deadly it is. I mean, just
00:09:04 --> 00:09:06 imagine someone shooting a missile and then...
00:09:07 --> 00:09:10 an hour later that the that son of that system
00:09:10 --> 00:09:11 goes nova i think that that is an absolutely
00:09:11 --> 00:09:13 deadly one i think that one's way worse than
00:09:13 --> 00:09:16 the death star but yeah those are those are like
00:09:16 --> 00:09:18 my favorite two super weapons in all of legends
00:09:18 --> 00:09:22 i think um my favorite one would have to be the
00:09:22 --> 00:09:24 one from our previous question the mass shadow
00:09:24 --> 00:09:27 generator just because it was done in one of
00:09:27 --> 00:09:30 the best battles in kotor the battle of malachor
00:09:30 --> 00:09:33 5 and like i said it kind of led to the wound
00:09:33 --> 00:09:36 in the forest that kind of brought nihilists
00:09:36 --> 00:09:40 and scion to power pretty much but um other than
00:09:40 --> 00:09:43 that the only other like ones that i personally
00:09:43 --> 00:09:46 like are like the bio weapons that created the
00:09:46 --> 00:09:48 basically like the zombies in the star wars universe
00:09:48 --> 00:09:52 i think like the dark harvest virus i mean i
00:09:52 --> 00:09:54 would i mean if it affects quite a bit of things
00:09:54 --> 00:09:57 i'd consider it a super weapon because it's like
00:09:57 --> 00:09:59 the dark harvest virus i think is one of them
00:09:59 --> 00:10:02 the red harvest virus yeah I forget what the
00:10:02 --> 00:10:03 name of it is. I know what you're talking about.
00:10:03 --> 00:10:05 It comes up in Red Harvest and Death Troopers.
00:10:05 --> 00:10:09 It's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And that's fucking, I
00:10:09 --> 00:10:12 don't know, seeing like a fucking zombie virus
00:10:12 --> 00:10:14 in Star Wars is always just like interesting.
00:10:14 --> 00:10:16 I can hear the League of Legends polluting your
00:10:16 --> 00:10:20 mind with Dark Harvest. That's the name of the
00:10:20 --> 00:10:21 virus. Look it up. Is it actually called Dark
00:10:21 --> 00:10:25 Harvest? Yes. Oh. Then why is the book called
00:10:25 --> 00:10:29 Red Harvest? I don't fucking know. Oh, so. I
00:10:29 --> 00:10:31 know there's Dark Harvest, and then the Blackwing
00:10:31 --> 00:10:34 virus as well. I think it's another one. I don't
00:10:34 --> 00:10:36 know shit about the Blackwing virus. That sounds
00:10:36 --> 00:10:42 like Yu -Gi -Oh! Imperial Bioweapon Project 171A1,
00:10:42 --> 00:10:46 or the Blackwing virus. Huh, interesting. Which,
00:10:46 --> 00:10:48 yeah, bioweapons are always cool, and then, like
00:10:48 --> 00:10:50 I said, the mass shadow generator, just because
00:10:50 --> 00:10:54 it led to the best Siths in all of the series.
00:10:55 --> 00:10:58 I give a minor shout out to the one that they
00:10:58 --> 00:11:03 use in... Is it The Force Awakens? No. You know
00:11:03 --> 00:11:05 the one in the sequel trilogy? What's that called?
00:11:06 --> 00:11:09 Planet Killer? Starkiller? Is it called Starkiller?
00:11:09 --> 00:11:11 Starkiller Base, yeah. Starkiller Base, yeah.
00:11:12 --> 00:11:14 Honorable mention to that one because of the
00:11:14 --> 00:11:17 planet that they use, Ilum, which is where kyber
00:11:17 --> 00:11:20 crystals are from. So that one gets a shout out.
00:11:20 --> 00:11:22 That scene where they destroy the five planets.
00:11:23 --> 00:11:25 I just like it was named after Starkiller. He
00:11:25 --> 00:11:29 can be canon. Yep. There's always a chance. There
00:11:29 --> 00:11:32 is always a chance. Well, that was our questions.
00:11:32 --> 00:11:36 Again, shout out to Mac and Jake for those questions.
00:11:36 --> 00:11:40 Please, guys, if you want to hear our take on,
00:11:40 --> 00:11:43 you know, like something Star Wars, you have
00:11:43 --> 00:11:44 a question for us, please submit them to our
00:11:44 --> 00:11:46 website, TheForceUnscripted .com. Just go to
00:11:46 --> 00:11:50 the contact tab. The first part says voice message,
00:11:50 --> 00:11:51 but if you scroll down just a little bit past
00:11:51 --> 00:11:54 it, you'll see where you can submit. a contact
00:11:54 --> 00:11:56 form and send us an email and we will answer
00:11:56 --> 00:11:59 it as we get them we love getting to answer questions
00:11:59 --> 00:12:01 for you guys on our bonus episodes so that's
00:12:01 --> 00:12:04 what they're for also to play very shitty games
00:12:04 --> 00:12:06 where i can have an excuse to be horny on main
00:12:06 --> 00:12:09 so with that being said since when she is still
00:12:09 --> 00:12:12 on vacation first greece now hawaii we're going
00:12:12 --> 00:12:16 to be playing fuck mary kill and would you rather
00:12:16 --> 00:12:19 me exotic and possibly brick vpo each have one
00:12:19 --> 00:12:23 for for each game so uh we can start with fuck
00:12:23 --> 00:12:25 marry kill because i've got mine ready to go
00:12:25 --> 00:12:28 i've got i've got a bit of an interesting interesting
00:12:28 --> 00:12:31 one brick also has one so i'm excited about that
00:12:31 --> 00:12:35 all right so my fuck marry kill is going to be
00:12:35 --> 00:12:39 ahsoka tano the adult version clearly cad bane
00:12:39 --> 00:12:43 and general grievous so that's a little uh loaded
00:12:43 --> 00:12:48 question there you think so i'll be honest with
00:12:48 --> 00:12:50 you i'm fucking grievous I'm going to fuck his
00:12:50 --> 00:12:54 eye slots or whatever part is still fleshy of
00:12:54 --> 00:12:55 him. Shit, I'll rub it against the metal too.
00:12:56 --> 00:12:58 I don't even care. I'm fucking Grievous. I'm
00:12:58 --> 00:13:01 marrying Ahsoka and I'm killing Cad Bane. As
00:13:01 --> 00:13:03 much respect as I have for Cad Bane, he got to
00:13:03 --> 00:13:05 go. I will definitely marry Ahsoka because I
00:13:05 --> 00:13:07 know I'll be happy. But I'm going to have a freaky
00:13:07 --> 00:13:12 ass metal night with General Grievous. Them metal
00:13:12 --> 00:13:14 bones, whatever you want to call them, appendages,
00:13:14 --> 00:13:17 they finna get it. They finna absolutely fucking
00:13:17 --> 00:13:21 get it. He doesn't have anything inside. It's
00:13:21 --> 00:13:24 literally just metal. His heart? No, I can rub
00:13:24 --> 00:13:27 the head on the heart. Head to heart. I don't
00:13:27 --> 00:13:30 think it works that way. I can try. Ain't nothing
00:13:30 --> 00:13:32 stopping me. He'll let me mount him. There's
00:13:32 --> 00:13:34 gaps in the metal on his chest because that's
00:13:34 --> 00:13:36 how Obi -Wan shot him. So I can slide in there
00:13:36 --> 00:13:38 and get a little flesh on heart muscle touch.
00:13:39 --> 00:13:42 I'm fucking Grievous. I'm just going to fuck.
00:13:43 --> 00:13:46 Brick, I'm fucking your people. Your robot cyborg
00:13:46 --> 00:13:51 people. Again, as I said, gross. Okay, what's
00:13:51 --> 00:13:55 yours then? Well, similar to you, I would marry
00:13:55 --> 00:13:58 Ahsoka. I would fuck Cad Bane, but I would kill
00:13:58 --> 00:14:02 Grievous. You're gonna fuck Cad Bane? Yes. Why?
00:14:03 --> 00:14:05 Why not? I don't know, I felt like you're part
00:14:05 --> 00:14:07 of Cyborg. He's one of the coolest bounty hunters
00:14:07 --> 00:14:10 in the galaxy, and you'd rather kill him off
00:14:10 --> 00:14:13 than Grievous? I mean, but I'm thinking about
00:14:13 --> 00:14:15 it from your perspective. Like, you're a cyborg,
00:14:15 --> 00:14:17 so you got holes in you somewhere. What if, like,
00:14:17 --> 00:14:19 he can do, like, R2 -D2 with his fingers and,
00:14:19 --> 00:14:22 like, make the perfect, like, robot penis to
00:14:22 --> 00:14:24 go inside of one of your holes? No, he's like
00:14:24 --> 00:14:29 a walking corpse. Okay. That's just wrong. I'm
00:14:29 --> 00:14:33 at least still 80 % fleshy. Okay, I'd fuck a
00:14:33 --> 00:14:37 robot corpse over a fucking duro. Bro, those
00:14:37 --> 00:14:39 eyes. Like, I could never do missionary. I'd
00:14:39 --> 00:14:41 have to hit it from the back. You can put a bag
00:14:41 --> 00:14:45 over his head. That is fair. That's crazy. Alright,
00:14:46 --> 00:14:49 what about you, Mr. Exotic? I'm agreeing with
00:14:49 --> 00:14:52 Brick. I'm killing Grievous. Thank you. Just
00:14:52 --> 00:14:54 because I'd rather not stick my dick in a blender.
00:14:54 --> 00:14:56 I would absolutely stick my dick in a blender.
00:14:58 --> 00:15:00 Alright, Brick, what's your Fuck, Marry, Kill
00:15:00 --> 00:15:05 then? Okay, my choices are for you two, and I
00:15:05 --> 00:15:09 guess myself, the Bendu, Cthulhu, and Turtle.
00:15:11 --> 00:15:15 Tholips? From fucking the kids from Skeleton
00:15:15 --> 00:15:21 Crew? Yes. What was the last one? Turgle. Turgle.
00:15:21 --> 00:15:29 Oh. What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that?
00:15:29 --> 00:15:31 How do you spell this so someone can look it
00:15:31 --> 00:15:36 up? The letters are T -U -R -G -L -E from Jedi
00:15:36 --> 00:15:39 Survivor. What the fuck is that last thing? That's
00:15:39 --> 00:15:43 Catholips from Skeleton Crew, bro. I don't remember
00:15:43 --> 00:15:46 seeing that in Skeleton Crew. Oh, this one is
00:15:46 --> 00:15:49 so good. Oh, dude, this one's gonna be hard.
00:15:50 --> 00:15:53 Okay, but you gotta give yours. I know you're
00:15:53 --> 00:15:55 fucking Catholips or you're marrying him. You
00:15:55 --> 00:15:58 love the sea too much. That is within reason,
00:15:59 --> 00:16:03 yes. So, yes, I would marry Catholips because
00:16:03 --> 00:16:07 he's very wise and, you know. In a way, experienced.
00:16:08 --> 00:16:12 Now this is where the dilemma is. Because Terbil,
00:16:12 --> 00:16:14 all he is is really just like a, as far as I
00:16:14 --> 00:16:15 can remember, kind of like just like a good boy.
00:16:16 --> 00:16:19 That's it. But he's also kind of dumb and gets
00:16:19 --> 00:16:23 into trouble. Eh, hmm. You know what? I'll fuck
00:16:23 --> 00:16:26 Terbil and kill the Bendu because I do not like
00:16:26 --> 00:16:27 things that are force -related. You're gonna
00:16:27 --> 00:16:30 kill the Bendu? That's kind of fucked. Alright,
00:16:30 --> 00:16:33 I'm gonna marry the Bendu. I'm gonna, I'm gonna
00:16:33 --> 00:16:36 fuck Cthulhu's. And I'm going to kill Turgle.
00:16:36 --> 00:16:39 Because, like, I don't know. Every time I look
00:16:39 --> 00:16:41 at this picture of Turgle, like, why is he looking
00:16:41 --> 00:16:43 back at me like that? And I don't like the whole
00:16:43 --> 00:16:46 fucking hammerhead shark eyes thing. Yeah, no.
00:16:47 --> 00:16:49 Yeah, no. I got to kill Turgle. I'm marrying
00:16:49 --> 00:16:52 Bindu and I'm fucking Cthulhu. And me and Cthulhu
00:16:52 --> 00:16:54 are going to have a good ass time. Because he,
00:16:54 --> 00:16:56 I mean, like, I mean, for the most part, he is
00:16:56 --> 00:16:58 the most Hutt -like of these. Yeah, I've never
00:16:58 --> 00:17:01 even seen his bottom half. Yeah, but I don't
00:17:01 --> 00:17:02 have to. It's always in water, so it's always
00:17:02 --> 00:17:04 wet. I don't know what skeleton crew y 'all watch.
00:17:04 --> 00:17:06 I do not remember this motherfucker. It's when
00:17:06 --> 00:17:08 they're running through the resort thing. Yeah.
00:17:08 --> 00:17:11 When they found the pirate captain's treasure
00:17:11 --> 00:17:14 underneath the whole thing. Still drawing a blank.
00:17:14 --> 00:17:18 But I'd marry Bendu, kill Cthulhups, and fuck
00:17:18 --> 00:17:22 the frog. You're gonna fuck the Cthulhups? Bro.
00:17:23 --> 00:17:26 Oh dear. Oh dear. I think you're more down bad
00:17:26 --> 00:17:29 this round than me, honestly. To fuck Turgle?
00:17:30 --> 00:17:33 Bruh. That thing is built like that fucking singing
00:17:33 --> 00:17:36 thing from Return of the Jedi in Jabba's Lair.
00:17:37 --> 00:17:38 That's what that reminds me of. And that bitch
00:17:38 --> 00:17:41 used to scare me when I was little. I don't know.
00:17:41 --> 00:17:44 That fucking... What the fuck's his name again?
00:17:44 --> 00:17:47 Cthulhu? Yeah, he got like fucking whiskers.
00:17:47 --> 00:17:50 Like, what the fuck? Is he a fish or a cat? Yeah,
00:17:50 --> 00:17:53 he's Cthulhu. Yeah, fuck that. He's getting killed.
00:17:54 --> 00:17:56 Fascinating. Nah, bro. I'm just imagining some
00:17:56 --> 00:17:58 sloppy from him. You get like little thigh tickles.
00:17:59 --> 00:18:01 Just to make sure, because I don't think, since
00:18:01 --> 00:18:03 he doesn't remember Cthulhu, Cthulhu's, like,
00:18:03 --> 00:18:07 huge. Like, almost Bendu -sized. No, Bendu, no,
00:18:07 --> 00:18:10 he's not Bendu -sized. Doesn't change my answer.
00:18:10 --> 00:18:12 Is he not? No, he's like Jabba. Bendu is huge.
00:18:13 --> 00:18:16 Bendu's fucking huge. Yeah. So is the Cthulhu.
00:18:16 --> 00:18:19 Nah, this dude, okay, Cthulhu's is close to the
00:18:19 --> 00:18:21 Jabba size, and Bendu's like, I don't know, maybe
00:18:21 --> 00:18:24 like six Jabbas. Bendu would not have fit in
00:18:24 --> 00:18:26 that little underground thing. Bendu is huge.
00:18:26 --> 00:18:30 This is not, this is not. Jabba -sized. Okay,
00:18:30 --> 00:18:33 it's closer. But I'm saying it's closer to Jabba
00:18:33 --> 00:18:36 than it is to Bendu. Go look at how big Bendu
00:18:36 --> 00:18:39 is compared to Ezra. I know. Yeah, Bendu would
00:18:39 --> 00:18:41 not have fit in that building. That pool can't
00:18:41 --> 00:18:44 be that deep, bro. You do not know how deep that
00:18:44 --> 00:18:46 pool goes. Neither do you. You can't say for
00:18:46 --> 00:18:49 certain. It's called imagination. He's still
00:18:49 --> 00:18:51 not Bendu -sized. He's still not. There's no
00:18:51 --> 00:18:54 way. Bendu is at least twice his size. How about
00:18:54 --> 00:18:56 we say it like that? Fair, I guess. I don't know.
00:18:57 --> 00:19:01 Aren't there stats for them? No. Not for the
00:19:01 --> 00:19:04 Bendu. Yes, for the Bendu, not for Cthalops.
00:19:05 --> 00:19:09 Actually, I don't even know. 15 meters or more
00:19:09 --> 00:19:12 is how tall Bendu is. He was also voiced by the
00:19:12 --> 00:19:16 fourth doctor. That's cool. Anyways, did you
00:19:16 --> 00:19:20 have one too? Exactly. Mine's going to be a...
00:19:20 --> 00:19:24 A triple threat of podracers. Oh god, he's gonna
00:19:24 --> 00:19:27 mention fucking Ben Cuadonaros. Hell yeah, Ben
00:19:27 --> 00:19:29 Cuadonaros is the first one. And we got fucking
00:19:29 --> 00:19:31 Sebulba. And then let me try to figure out how
00:19:31 --> 00:19:33 to pronounce this motherfucker's name. Timoto
00:19:33 --> 00:19:37 Pagelis? Can we get pictures? Because I know
00:19:37 --> 00:19:40 what Sebulba and fucking Ben Cuadonaros look
00:19:40 --> 00:19:43 like. This motherfucker said triple threat because
00:19:43 --> 00:19:47 I want to kill all three of them. So that is
00:19:47 --> 00:19:51 Timoto Pagelis. I think I'm pronouncing his name
00:19:51 --> 00:19:55 right. Oh, God. Ben Cuadonaros. I am Sebulba.
00:19:55 --> 00:19:57 All right, you go first since these are yours.
00:19:57 --> 00:20:00 All right. Yeah. Killing Sebulba because he just
00:20:00 --> 00:20:03 seems like to be like a dick and like those legs
00:20:03 --> 00:20:04 just ain't doing it for me. Probably fucking
00:20:04 --> 00:20:08 Ben Cuadonaros. And then I am marrying Timote
00:20:08 --> 00:20:12 Pagelis because apparently he's considered very
00:20:12 --> 00:20:15 handsome for his species. How do you know that
00:20:15 --> 00:20:17 Ben Cuadonaros isn't considered handsome for
00:20:17 --> 00:20:19 his species? I don't care. Look at that motherfucker.
00:20:20 --> 00:20:23 Look at how big his mouth is. Look at his fucking,
00:20:23 --> 00:20:25 I don't know. It's just like the triangular shape
00:20:25 --> 00:20:27 of his head. Just, I don't know. It's a turnoff.
00:20:27 --> 00:20:31 But you'd fuck him? Yeah. That's less of a turnoff
00:20:31 --> 00:20:33 than those fucking Sebulba legs. The guy, the
00:20:33 --> 00:20:35 first picture just looks like he came out of
00:20:35 --> 00:20:37 Ratchet and Clank. I'm like, is this guy real?
00:20:37 --> 00:20:40 I thought that too. He CGI'd. He was like one
00:20:40 --> 00:20:45 of the first pod racers to crash during the pod
00:20:45 --> 00:20:47 race with Anakin in it. Well, you gotta understand,
00:20:47 --> 00:20:49 the CG that was done in 1998 -99, you can't really
00:20:49 --> 00:20:52 judge it that hard. No, I know, but he just looks
00:20:52 --> 00:20:55 like he came out of a spreadsheet thing. He probably
00:20:55 --> 00:20:57 did. So you remember that crash, and then you
00:20:57 --> 00:21:00 just see, like, he's the one that was, like,
00:21:00 --> 00:21:01 sitting there, just in his thing, just fucking
00:21:01 --> 00:21:05 hitting the dashboard. Okay, Exotic, I'm gonna
00:21:05 --> 00:21:07 have to be 100 % honest with you. I've only ever
00:21:07 --> 00:21:11 seen two Star Wars movies in my entire life,
00:21:11 --> 00:21:13 and one of them was extremely recently. Have
00:21:13 --> 00:21:15 you not seen Phantom Menace? It's like an amazing
00:21:15 --> 00:21:17 one. That was one of the ones I watched, but
00:21:17 --> 00:21:20 I don't remember this guy. That's crazy. He just
00:21:20 --> 00:21:23 seemed unimportant. No, he is the most important.
00:21:23 --> 00:21:26 He's not. None of these characters are. Maybe
00:21:26 --> 00:21:29 Sebulba's important. I mean, Ben Cuadonaros could
00:21:29 --> 00:21:32 definitely take on Palpatine IMO. In looks, absolutely.
00:21:34 --> 00:21:36 I'm also, I'm going to kill Sebulba just off
00:21:36 --> 00:21:39 principle. Fuck that guy. I'm going to marry
00:21:39 --> 00:21:42 Cuadonaros though. Cause that's sloppy, big toppy
00:21:42 --> 00:21:45 every day of my life. Like also like you see,
00:21:45 --> 00:21:48 okay. So you see where his nose is and how like,
00:21:48 --> 00:21:51 there's that like soft palette above his lip
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53 right there and how his cheeks, you could fold
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56 the cheek against the palette and just put a,
00:21:56 --> 00:21:58 it'd be like a tip fuck, but on his face, you
00:21:58 --> 00:22:00 just put your meat right in between there and
00:22:00 --> 00:22:02 squeeze it together. And there's nothing he can
00:22:02 --> 00:22:04 do except smell the top of your, your pee pee.
00:22:05 --> 00:22:09 That's wild. He looks so wrinkly. Exactly. Ribbed
00:22:09 --> 00:22:11 for your pleasure is what that's called. Ew.
00:22:13 --> 00:22:17 Okay. Ribbed for your pleasure is kind of crazy.
00:22:17 --> 00:22:23 I'm sorry. And then I'd fuck the Timmy guy, whatever
00:22:23 --> 00:22:27 his name is. What is it? Timote? Timote Gailies.
00:22:29 --> 00:22:35 It's T -E -M -T -O. P -A -G -A -L -I -E -S. Teamtoe?
00:22:36 --> 00:22:39 Teamtoe? Teamtoe? Teamtoe? Yeah, that's him in
00:22:39 --> 00:22:41 his podracer. That picture I just posted. He's
00:22:41 --> 00:22:43 in, like, the secular one. He's whatever. He
00:22:43 --> 00:22:47 going Pagades nuts. I'm fucking him. I guess
00:22:47 --> 00:22:53 I have to answer now. Yes. Marry Teamtoe, because
00:22:53 --> 00:22:54 he just looks like Ratchet and Clank, and that's
00:22:54 --> 00:22:57 one of my favorite games. I killed the Ben guy,
00:22:58 --> 00:23:01 and then fucked the third one. That's crazy that
00:23:01 --> 00:23:04 you would kill Ben Cuadonaros. That is kind of
00:23:04 --> 00:23:06 crazy that you killed Ben. No, that's crazy.
00:23:06 --> 00:23:09 I don't know anything about anyone. I'm giving
00:23:09 --> 00:23:12 you a full picture of Sebulba. You're not going
00:23:12 --> 00:23:14 to be fucking Sebulba. Sebulba is going to be
00:23:14 --> 00:23:17 fucking you. That's the thing. Let me get you
00:23:17 --> 00:23:20 a full image of this motherfucker. He's got to
00:23:20 --> 00:23:26 go. He's standing on his hands. He's got to go.
00:23:27 --> 00:23:28 Bro, he got to go because he going to thrust
00:23:28 --> 00:23:32 whatever encrusted shit is between his legs into
00:23:32 --> 00:23:34 my crotch. I don't like that. I was about to
00:23:34 --> 00:23:38 say something, but that's a little too vulgar.
00:23:38 --> 00:23:40 I'm just going to leave it. No, say it. Say it.
00:23:40 --> 00:23:44 I still say it. His feet look like velociraptor
00:23:44 --> 00:23:48 hands. Like, that's crazy. Okay, Mr. Dino Lover
00:23:48 --> 00:23:51 over here for some reason doesn't like the velociraptor
00:23:51 --> 00:23:53 hands. No, because he's got a fucking pig nose.
00:23:54 --> 00:23:56 He's got a mouth like a... fucking dilapidated
00:23:56 --> 00:24:00 wolf and his throat looks like the throat of
00:24:00 --> 00:24:03 an 80 year old turkey neck grandmother like no
00:24:03 --> 00:24:07 there's nothing sexy about this bro he's got
00:24:07 --> 00:24:10 four thumbs for fingers i don't want him to touch
00:24:10 --> 00:24:14 me bro he would rip my pp off look at that fucking
00:24:14 --> 00:24:17 smile like he missing some some there's something
00:24:17 --> 00:24:21 bro one tooth would ruin your day i still stand
00:24:21 --> 00:24:24 that's crazy you need to sit down or something
00:24:25 --> 00:24:29 Oh, that's so gross. No, I'm very much within.
00:24:29 --> 00:24:32 Bro, look at his hands. He's got four thumbs.
00:24:34 --> 00:24:36 And then look at this reference picture. This
00:24:36 --> 00:24:39 is just so gross. That's hot like. Yeah, I'm
00:24:39 --> 00:24:43 not like you. It's doing it for me. Send me more
00:24:43 --> 00:24:45 pictures that look like that. It's that. You
00:24:45 --> 00:24:49 see that little, the four faces? The bottom left
00:24:49 --> 00:24:51 one is what's doing it for me right now. Look
00:24:51 --> 00:24:58 at that. That's crazy. He deleted it. You're
00:24:58 --> 00:25:02 just so wrong. That has been fuck, marry, kill.
00:25:02 --> 00:25:04 I know you're not ready for would you rather.
00:25:06 --> 00:25:08 So this is would you rather. So we're going to
00:25:08 --> 00:25:12 take two different scenarios and see which ones
00:25:12 --> 00:25:16 you would rather do than the other. Pretty self
00:25:16 --> 00:25:18 -explanatory. But I know Nikita needs a little
00:25:18 --> 00:25:20 bit of explanation for everything. Oh, you son
00:25:20 --> 00:25:23 of a bitch. So would you rather use the dark
00:25:23 --> 00:25:26 side? to end a galaxy -wide war instantly, knowing
00:25:26 --> 00:25:28 it will corrupt you? Or would you rather uphold
00:25:28 --> 00:25:31 the light side while millions more die? I'm going
00:25:31 --> 00:25:34 dark side. I know it's going to corrupt me, but
00:25:34 --> 00:25:39 it's like the Jason Solo kind of reasoning. I
00:25:39 --> 00:25:42 will fall to the dark side because that's on
00:25:42 --> 00:25:44 me and I know that it results in the greatest
00:25:44 --> 00:25:46 good. I can't sit there with a good conscience
00:25:46 --> 00:25:48 on the light side and let millions die, especially
00:25:48 --> 00:25:50 if I know that I have this choice to use the
00:25:50 --> 00:25:52 dark side and save those millions of people.
00:25:52 --> 00:25:54 Absolutely, I'm going to the dark side. What
00:25:54 --> 00:25:57 about like, what if, what happens if you are
00:25:57 --> 00:25:58 on the dark side and then you just start fucking
00:25:58 --> 00:26:01 killing people just because? I'd still take that
00:26:01 --> 00:26:03 because I'm probably not going to be capable
00:26:03 --> 00:26:06 of killing millions. Also, the dark side doesn't
00:26:06 --> 00:26:08 mean I lose, just because I'm corrupted by the
00:26:08 --> 00:26:10 dark side doesn't mean I lose reasoning. There's
00:26:10 --> 00:26:12 plenty of Sith Lords who go off to be on exile
00:26:12 --> 00:26:14 on their own, so I'd probably do something like
00:26:14 --> 00:26:16 that. I guess. Well, to be honest, I'd probably
00:26:16 --> 00:26:18 stay on the light side. Because fuck them kids,
00:26:18 --> 00:26:20 you know? Wait, now hold up. If the millions
00:26:20 --> 00:26:23 of people are all children, then I may change
00:26:23 --> 00:26:31 my answer. I mean, it says millions. So there's
00:26:31 --> 00:26:32 probably plenty of kids that are going to be
00:26:32 --> 00:26:35 dying, you know? If they're all kids, I'll stay
00:26:35 --> 00:26:38 on the light side. If it's a mixed bag, dark
00:26:38 --> 00:26:41 side. I'm assuming it's a mixed bag. So I'm still
00:26:41 --> 00:26:42 sticking with my answer. Yeah, it's going to
00:26:42 --> 00:26:46 be a mixed bag. What about you, Brick? As a person
00:26:46 --> 00:26:48 who cares not much for the force in general,
00:26:49 --> 00:26:52 I guess I would choose the dark side bit. Because
00:26:52 --> 00:26:55 if I happened to fall, which I probably wouldn't,
00:26:55 --> 00:26:59 because if you did, that's still issue, Mr. Nakeda.
00:26:59 --> 00:27:04 Fuck them kids. I'd rather save millions than
00:27:04 --> 00:27:07 let them die. Well, that's good. You know, you
00:27:07 --> 00:27:09 just indirectly told me that you think I'm right,
00:27:09 --> 00:27:13 so I'll take that also. No. No, you definitely
00:27:13 --> 00:27:15 did. It's okay. I forgive you. Don't do it again,
00:27:15 --> 00:27:19 though. No. Don't make me reboot you again. No.
00:27:19 --> 00:27:23 Stop saying no, jackass. No. God damn it. I hate
00:27:23 --> 00:27:25 it here. All right. Well, it's time for mine.
00:27:25 --> 00:27:28 I have a... Actually, this one's pretty out of
00:27:28 --> 00:27:30 character for me because it's not absolutely
00:27:30 --> 00:27:32 fucking disgusting. Mine is, would you rather
00:27:32 --> 00:27:36 be a Wookiee slave doing labor to construct the
00:27:36 --> 00:27:39 first Death Star or work in the mines of Kessel?
00:27:39 --> 00:27:43 Wookiee slave. You hesitate. You just want to
00:27:43 --> 00:27:49 be a fucking Wookiee. Where there's Wookiees,
00:27:49 --> 00:27:53 there's always some type of weapon. You don't
00:27:53 --> 00:27:56 remember in the Rebels, whenever they saved a
00:27:56 --> 00:27:57 group of Wookiees and then Wookiees were fucking
00:27:57 --> 00:27:59 shit up because they were all captured and they
00:27:59 --> 00:28:01 got released? I'd be a Wookiee and go fuck some
00:28:01 --> 00:28:04 shit up. I would also choose the Wookiee option
00:28:04 --> 00:28:06 here. I'm not going to lie. Not the Mines of
00:28:06 --> 00:28:08 Kessel because you're in the dark. You could
00:28:08 --> 00:28:11 fall. There's fucking energy spiders everywhere.
00:28:12 --> 00:28:14 Fuck them mines. I like to be able to see. And
00:28:14 --> 00:28:17 at least if I'm a Wookiee, I may be malnourished
00:28:17 --> 00:28:18 because the Empire fucking hates things that
00:28:18 --> 00:28:21 aren't humans. But like, let me survive this
00:28:21 --> 00:28:24 fucking war. I'm gonna rip some arms off. Exactly,
00:28:24 --> 00:28:27 man. There's always a chance for an uprising,
00:28:27 --> 00:28:29 you know? Wait, can you repeat that prompt again,
00:28:29 --> 00:28:34 please? Would you rather be a Wookiee slave doing
00:28:34 --> 00:28:37 slave labor to construct the first Death Star?
00:28:38 --> 00:28:40 Or would you rather be stuck working in the mines
00:28:40 --> 00:28:43 of Kessel? I have no clue what the mines are,
00:28:43 --> 00:28:45 but I'd rather be a rookie. So just to give you
00:28:45 --> 00:28:49 the breakdown, Kessel is a moon near the Maw,
00:28:49 --> 00:28:52 which is a cluster of black holes, so much so
00:28:52 --> 00:28:54 that Kessel can't retain its own atmosphere.
00:28:54 --> 00:28:57 So it has atmosphere generators all over the
00:28:57 --> 00:29:00 moon. The mines are basically almost pitch black
00:29:00 --> 00:29:03 where you're mining spice, like drugs. that are
00:29:03 --> 00:29:06 inhabited by energy spiders that feed off the
00:29:06 --> 00:29:08 light that the spice produces while it's still
00:29:08 --> 00:29:11 in the veins. And they often kill and attack
00:29:11 --> 00:29:14 miners or miners fall to their death by falling
00:29:14 --> 00:29:17 into the mines. Oh, wait, I have night vision
00:29:17 --> 00:29:20 through my, my optic nerves. I'm okay with doing
00:29:20 --> 00:29:23 it at night and the pure darkness and giant spiders
00:29:23 --> 00:29:26 are nothing. I rescind my statement. You'd rather
00:29:26 --> 00:29:28 work in the mines of Kessel? Yeah. You wouldn't
00:29:28 --> 00:29:30 want to be a Wookiee? Yeah. And work on the death
00:29:30 --> 00:29:32 star that would eventually kill millions? No.
00:29:33 --> 00:29:34 Since when do you value the life of meat bags?
00:29:35 --> 00:29:39 Hold up. How many fucking people died of spicing?
00:29:40 --> 00:29:45 It's a drug. If you're worried about saving lives,
00:29:45 --> 00:29:47 you're kind of at a lose -lose here. A very small
00:29:47 --> 00:29:50 portion of spice is used for medical stuff, but
00:29:50 --> 00:29:52 most of it is actually just sold on the market
00:29:52 --> 00:29:55 as drugs. It's just drugs. It's like heroin.
00:29:55 --> 00:29:58 It's like opioids. Or, sure, heroin. It's more
00:29:58 --> 00:30:03 like opioids, though. And there's different types
00:30:03 --> 00:30:05 of spice. Like, I think spice from Kessel, there's
00:30:05 --> 00:30:07 only, like, two or three types. But there's also,
00:30:07 --> 00:30:10 like, real spice that comes from Ryloth. Like,
00:30:10 --> 00:30:12 there's other types of spice. But, like, a big
00:30:12 --> 00:30:15 portion of spice in the galaxy at large comes
00:30:15 --> 00:30:18 from either Ryloth or Kessel. Okay, now that
00:30:18 --> 00:30:20 I know what the fucking spice is, I guess I'll
00:30:20 --> 00:30:23 be a Wookiee and then potentially cause a mistake
00:30:23 --> 00:30:25 and, you know, break the fucking Death Star.
00:30:25 --> 00:30:27 An uprising, and we start ripping Stormtrooper's
00:30:27 --> 00:30:30 arms off. Exactly. All right, so we're all in
00:30:30 --> 00:30:32 accordance of this one. All right, guys, well,
00:30:32 --> 00:30:36 that has been our bonus episode for our episode
00:30:36 --> 00:30:38 that we did about the Phantom Menace. Thank you
00:30:38 --> 00:30:40 for... Being a part of here, thank you again
00:30:40 --> 00:30:43 to Jake and Mac for their questions. Again, be
00:30:43 --> 00:30:45 sure to go to TheForceUnscripted .com and go
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00:31:18 --> 00:31:21 time, peace out, Girl Scouts, and may the force
00:31:21 --> 00:31:23 be with you. All the good ones. Please send those
00:31:23 --> 00:31:26 complaints. He needs to be stopped. No, I don't.
00:31:26 --> 00:31:26 Hot love forever.